Love at Any Age is Possible
Feb is always “Love Month” at IntuitiveSoul. These past years have been challenging for anyone who has been single due to the Social Distancing and Stay-at-Home orders. It hasn’t been easy for anyone. Last year when talking with Tom Campbell he offered some suggestions to connect via online – but what I found was that online dating became something else – typically scammers looking for money (already fell for that scam) and so the last few years has been difficult to meet anyone. Tom also suggested joining forums such as his weekly groups that meet – with the intention NOT to meet someone but to connect with like-minded/hearted individuals who you can have something in common with. He recommended online was better at creating relationships as often Sex confuses newly made connections. However, this was again not for me.
What I needed was to gain back some confidence after a few relationships that deepened the issue I already manifested with my earliest abandonment core wounds. So, because I was still pretty unhealthy last year at this time, I decided the focus would be on my health. Ultimately, focusing on walking was HUGE for me. I have shared my story over the past few months about the journey back to health and even how this may have led to feeling more JOY and excitement. Let me tell you, the walks weren’t always easy – not even sort of. It required a great deal of my time and energy to begin to see results. Apparently menopause really does a number on your body – along with not moving – I wasn’t digesting food properly, I was pre-diabetic, I had very little energy and although I knew what I needed to set things straight in my body, it took a great deal more energy than it did in my 20’s.
As I became adjusted to walking more and more – and knowing what foods to avoid (specifically sugar/carbs, wheat, dairy and a whole bunch of other foods) – and walking close to 4 hours daily (sometimes more) – my body began to heal. I couldn’t always walk fast – I had 2 compressed nerves – and the summer with hot flashes – it just took a lot out of me. However, for me I could walk a lot! I was fortunate to be able to make time for this. And changes happened and I felt better than I had in a long time. I continued to observe my body’s responses to walking and the healing that took place. And my walking became something I really enjoyed. Walking on the Boardwalk of Toronto – with the water and the beach at my side and meeting the same people over and over – I created some new friendships and the walks became even more important.
I also continued my reading – when I had problems financially several years ago – reading became instrumental in shifting my focus “From Lack to Letting Go” and eventually I was able to shift my finances to a place that was satisfying. So, I used the same principle and read about romance and LOVE. However, due to the core wounds I have been working on – and the current situation of Lockdowns – this took much longer – I would say several years. During this time I didn’t feel like a relationship was needed – I just wanted to share my life with someone. And during the past 2 years, it began to feel too isolating not having such a person to share deeply with.
Healing and nesting I have been doing for quite some time. I created a nurturing environment for my healing to happen. But by last year I guess I felt enough was enough. I especially didn’t want to continue the healing process alone – I wanted to open up and BE more involved. This was a difficult process – until I continued my walks and began meeting people. In the beginning it was just me being Social – we are definitely Social BEings – we need others to connect with.
Then I began to feel better and better and this seemed to correspond to meeting more and more people. Eventually I became noticed by men I found attractive and clearly so did they find me. However, I could tell that they were already in relationships – which didn’t bother me because I was just opening up and wasn’t seeing them as love potentials. Yet in this process I noticed that it felt good. It was nice to be noticed again. And that was all it was. Harmless flirting with no expectation. However, I felt that this beginning would create results. And it did eventually. My walking led me to finding what I least expected – Love that wasn’t just karmic or even a Soul contract – but a Divine Union.
From this discovery – which I honestly didn’t see coming – Tracy McBurney told me it was a Divine Contract – I have realized many things: 98% of all of our relationships are Karmic – they have a personal growth aspect to them. These relationships are very important to our personal growth. They may be past life, unfinished business … or an agreed contract to help us grow individually. About 1.8% of relationships are Soul Group – sometimes they are romantic, but can equally be a relationship that is a positive family relationship or good friend. With these relationships typically only two of the group come back at one time – and grow the Soul Group collectively. This brings us to Divine Contracts – sometimes this means that you are an enlightened Guru who has contracts with many people to assist them to grow collectively. However, if this isn’t part of your journey – like mine – a Divine Union is a contract where you are here to hold a vibration of LOVE for the planet. Since this particular time in history is so unexpected and clearly one that impacts the entire planet – my belief is that Divine Unions were set up to assist with this particular time in history.
I did NOT expect this. People talk about Twin Flames – and this never really felt totally true to me. To say we were one soul and divided and then searched our lives to reunite – until we meet and feel whole again? I never felt unwhole. Do I believe that we are all one? Yes, I believe at some level we are all one so I guess in that way Divine Love is definitely real. But as far as the ‘unwhole’ thing? I worked hard to heal wounds of separation and abandonment that seem to be common fears and wounds that we are all working through in this life (as well as many other lives). I never felt I needed someone to make me whole. However, I have felt unsettled. I have searched for someone to share my life with. And I have had a couple of relationships that I knew were significant in my growth and felt like they were… more. Only to be disappointed over and over again. Clearly I hadn’t healed as much as I had thought and I wanted a relationship that was truly significant – even while believing that Twin Flames weren’t what I searched for.
I believe that there is NOT one relationship out there – but many and after healing and growing – once your relationship fulfilled its purpose – another relationship would find me for the next part of the healing process to begin. When some of my clients couldn’t let go of the partner they had given so much importance to – like someone they referred to as a Soul Mate or Twin Flame – they would fall apart and find it very difficult to move forward. I too had to learn this lesson and it was NOT easy. I was sure I had been in a Soul Contract with someone – turns out that person just reminded me of my Divine Contract – and I didn’t even have a contract with him at all. (I found this really difficult to hear) Once I realized the Gifts that the relationship offered and what I needed in order to Walk this Journey – I saw the problems. He really wasn’t the relationship I needed to give such importance to. This awareness helped me work with other relationships – and for others in relationships.
The problem was that we really don’t want to let go of a relationship – especially if we have assigned great importance to it at some point. This is the difficulty with how Media has portrayed romantic relationships. It becomes all about the ‘falling in love’ and rarely shows the journey of the relationship. Rather we get or are told ‘and they lived happily ever after’. The thing is – Relationships are messy and require constant attention if you want a successful relationship. Often relationships are not meant to last and then you can find another one to assist in another area of growth. But our parents’ generation just stayed – whether happy or not. This reinforces to us – and to our children – that it is better to be in a relationship even if it isn’t healthy. We always put our own interpretation of this kind of relationship as being healthy. Yet most relationships are NOT healthy: they are just fulfilling their purpose. Are there relationships out there that are meant to last forever? How many successful relationships – without your projecting on them because the couples have been together for a long time or appear healthy – are actually healthy? Not many.
Most people are so focused on the ‘idea’ of a relationship that is like what the Media portrayed as ‘perfect’ that they will stay in a relationship and instead of feeling like a failure because it outgrew its purpose they will imagine that it’s a healthy relationship because they stayed together for a long time. And sometimes people will stay in those unhealthy relationships because being alone is even less attractive than staying in a relationship that is not only unhealthy but even one that is somewhat abusive (verbally or emotionally – and hopefully not physically). This is the sad state of our time. Add in the “virus” that has stopped the world – and many relationships were seen as no longer meeting personal needs. That is what happens when you are forced together for long periods of time. And there has been lots of sadness around this … this fact of people spending so much time together when already in an unhealthy relationship and the reports of domestic abuse has been at an all-time high. This has all been so unhealthy for everyone.
So, what does it mean to meet a Divine Contract/Union? As unexpected as it was – I have felt more settled than ever. There is no need to have the relationship defined. I don’t freak out when I don’t hear from him or feel abandoned if I can’t reach him. I just feel… settled. A very different feeling for me. It is like my abandonment issue – regardless of all the work I have done in this area – was for healing, but also it was no longer my core wound. I don’t feel that pressure – the potential of abandonment, the looming fear of being left – like I have in almost every other relationship. It just feels ‘right’. Yet, I have judged and tried to control it. Old patterns that my Ego wants to create/control/manage. The thing is: acceptance feels easier once I sit back and give space from my original trigger – the fear of abandonment. I can truly feel the unconditional Love that is present. My Ego may still want to be ‘right’ – however, I am more aware when this Ego nature is present and trying to stir things up. Things that used to be a hard ‘no’ have become ‘okay’. I don’t feel the need to fix, heal, or change anything – except my own triggers – the events or thoughts that make me think that the ‘abandonment’ is coming soon! It is truly an unexpected and totally Beautiful experience. I still have to remind myself that I can’t control anything – but that is the ever present Ego at work … wanting to control. I can accept him, the one with whom my Divine Contract is established, for who he is and the journey he is on. No matter how different it is from mine. I don’t need to judge him for any of this. I just … AM. I am Being in the best way possible and it feels so … full.
My point in this Blog is to remind you that regardless of your age, your preferences, your needs to remain in an unhealthy relationship, all of it – that Love will find you when you are truly ready.
Now did I think I would find it long before now? Absolutely – my Ego decided that I would find someone significant and I held onto that even when I didn’t believe it was necessary. A part of me wanted a deeper connection (similar to what I had considered a Soul Contract – that wasn’t). I didn’t want to date someone I wasn’t attracted to, or who was married and/or unavailable. I wanted someone who ‘saw me’ and was okay with me even if I wasn’t. I continued working on myself without someone to reflect back to me what I thought I needed. Trust me it is easier to work on your flaws/triggers when you are in a relationship because they are more obvious. I just knew I wanted to share my life … and now … I can. The theory that Twin Flames burn out – is probably true. But I don’t see this as a TF relationship. It is, in every way, Divine. It came when I needed it most or maybe when I didn’t need it at all. I was just ‘ready’ and Open to BEing with someone who can appreciate me – as I appreciate them – unconditionally.
If you are hoping to be in a relationship – all I can say is: never give up. But don’t hold onto a relationship in the hopes that it will change. If it is no longer meeting your needs and no longer healthy… I promise: if you are committed to healing and Evolving your Consciousness – a healthy relationship will happen. It may not be ‘the one’ – but Grow with it and when it stops helping you grow – move on – confident that another will come when you are ready. I believe that many Divine Contracts are happening due to the nature of the world currently. We need these relationships to begin to Heal again – not just ourselves but a much broader society. Haven’t you noticed that seeing people in Love makes you feel good and that there is something right with the world? So I really want to say that if you are holding onto a relationship that has fulfilled its purpose: Let Go. Let go – so you are available to Meet one that will heal far more than your personal journey. Your love will spread outward into the World – and isn’t THAT what a Divine Contract, a Divine Union, SHOULD do? Many will be touched by your ever-expanding love from such a Contract.
And … You will be as amazed as I am.
Happy Love Month!