How to Profoundly Impact Your Happiness

As the last of the summer of 2024 inspires us to move forward and make new beginnings, I am also considering what it is that brings me Happiness. This summer has been challenging for me. There were new beginnings and the letting go of things that no longer work. Some of the New Beginnings I also had to let go of too. However, what I realized is that my Ego loves to engage. Then I remembered that the only way to override my Ego is to BE in the moment.

What we often get caught up in are the games our Ego plays. We become frustrated and our brain will naturally filter our emotions into categories that we have learned from our first 7 years. This becomes problematic as it doesn’t allow for shifts in perspectives or viewing each circumstance as unique. We fall into the trap of viewing everything with the filters of our Ego.

Let’s offer an example. Our Ego is generally protecting us. However, it does this through justifying our actions, irregardless of whether they are correct. Our Beliefs, patterns, behaviors and stories were already created before the age of 7. By that age we did not have any emotional, physical, mental or spiritual maturity. So, when our Ego reacts it filters our feelings and thoughts with how we reacted the first time we experienced these feelings or thoughts.

Let’s go with an example of something happening. Something breaks down, like a computer. These days computers are only meant to last 4 years. Microsoft is even forcing us to purchase new computers by the fact that they continue to change their operating systems. Windows 11 began Oct 5, 2021 – by next year, 2025, in Oct, Windows 10 will be discontinued.

So, if we don’t have a computer that we purchased after Windows 11 came in, we have no option but to purchase a new computer. Four years! Things don’t seem to be made to last. Phones through certain providers must be returned within two years. When our expensive purchases begin to break down, our Ego likes to feel self-righteous, this interferes with how we react or respond to each situation.

This often makes us become fixated on the inequalities and unfairness of the world. We get angry and feel justified because our Ego filters our thoughts through the filter of “I’m right”. Then we can’t let go of the angry cycle of pain that our minds play repeatedly.

Or another viewpoint of this is when our Ego believes we might have been wrong. The shame and guilt that we feel – because our Ego believes we made a mistake – will often play repeatedly as well. Like in a relationship. Often, we get caught up in the “I’m right” and sometimes we get that feeling that we have done something wrong that contributed to a problem or breakup. When we feel responsible we usually become crippled with doubt and anger at ourselves.

How do we Profoundly Impact our Happiness? (Tom Campbell and I did a show several years ago on the Consciousness of Happiness.) I think when I remembered that we can only choose how we want to BE in the Now Moment it allows us to manage or choose how we want to feel. We will always initially react from our Ego’s perspective. What we will realize is that our initial reaction comes from our past experiences and beliefs established prior to the age of 7. The next step is to close our eyes and Breathe. Just Breathe.

The act of breathing will bring our awareness back to our inner feelings and allow us the space to choose. What are we choosing? The choice of how we want to show up. The thing is: we can’t make that choice based on our past experiences or our future concerns.

We can only make a choice in this Now Moment. And herein lies the problem. Often, we are unaware of not only our emotions and reactions, but we also live unaware of the time we are thinking about. Our Ego doesn’t understand that most of the boxes it creates around our experiences were created prior to our maturity to comprehend them fully. It was a system to make life easier and it became compromised by the immaturity of our understanding.

Our past experiences have manifested our ‘story’ and, unless we are present, we are unaware that we have a choice. We don’t realize that we are on autopilot. When we can operate from the place of the Now Moment, we can choose how we want to BE. Our Breath often is the venue to remember that we have a choice. Conscious breathing allows us that space to remember.

When we remember – we can make better choices. However, if we truly want to understand how our Ego reacts in any given moment, we must also be conscious of our feelings. If we are unhappy – it may be authentic to BE upset, angry, frustrated, or to feel shame and guilt or even to feel justified. However, if we want to truly BE in charge of how we respond – and to truly BE in charge of how we ‘show up’ in life – then we ultimately must choose how we want to BE.

How do you want to ‘show up’? There are times when I can’t always BE happy. I’m aware that my emotions must be authentic. Nonetheless, I still realize when I am NOT happy, I need to shift this. Most people tend to distract themselves when they are unhappy, with their vices. Our vices are what we do to change the challenges we have. Some people watch TV, or stream YouTube videos (on cats). They may use recreational drugs, chocolate, alcohol. There are many vices we can use to distract ourselves. Vices, however, won’t create positive or conscious choices.

Sometimes we can’t BE happy. There are situations where happiness won’t be what we want. We just can’t BE happy when we are grieving or authentically seeing the world through our pain. It isn’t healthy to bypass our authentic feelings. Sometimes we NEED to just Accept that it’s okay to just BE however we are in the moment – as long as we are truly in the moment – or aware – when we choose to feel the discomfort.

When we become aware that we are suffering and choosing to suffer, that is when we can take a breath and decide how we want to BE. The problem is that how we feel is often tied to the situation we are in or the people we are with. When someone you love is unhappy or impacting your world, it is often believed we don’t have a choice. We blame others for our experiences. We believe that the outside world has the power to choose how we respond and feel.

Our Ego doesn’t realize that the power lies within us. We don’t realize that we can BE in charge of how we ‘show up’. This is our choice. However, if we are still being impacted by the outside world – looking for approval or seeking to blame the outside world for how we feel and react – then we can’t be responsible for our choices.

Choices are the openings to Growing Up. It is our choices that determine how evolved we are. And our choices can only BE conscious when we are in the Now Moment. If we want to BE happy, our happiness can NOT be reliant on what is happening outside of us. No one outside of us is really responsible for how we feel. No one’s actions outside us should determine whether we are happy or unhappy. And we can only truly choose happiness when we are fully present.

How do we consciously choose happiness when it feels like we are not in control or in power? This is the dilemma we all work through. Our Egos will NOT embrace our attempts to understand from a ‘bigger picture’ perspective. Our Soul may be infinite but our Ego is only a child in comparison. We can remind our Ego that we appreciate how it wants to protect us … and Gently suggest that we would like to BE in charge of how we respond. Again, this can only happen if we are aware and present in how we are reacting and feeling.

Ultimately, we choose how we would like to ‘show up’. This requires our constant attention to what is occurring and how we would prefer to BE in each moment. We may not always be able to BE Happy. Sometimes ‘calm’ may BE the best we can do. However we choose to BE in any moment will take our full awareness of that moment. And in the awareness we do NOT allow others to derail how we express our true essence to the World.

Allow this powerful reset to remind you that you are in Charge of how you want to Show Up.

I’m Open to the possibilities that We all can make choices that will help us to BE Happy – irregardless of what is happening around us. I encourage all of us to play with these ideas and make our own choices. Let’s empower ourselves to Remember: we can Choose and Let the Magic Unfold. With Love and an Open Heart, Laurie❤️